Happiness – What does it mean?
I have wondered about this for a long time. What is “happiness”? What makes me happy? What makes you happy? What makes each one of us happy? How do you define happiness? So, I spent some time researching and discovered various explanations. Some say that it is about doing what your heart tells you, and some say it is about well-being or contentment, whilst others say it is about one’s state of mind. I must say, that they are all correct in their explanations. They all have one thing in common which I totally agree to. That it is about “You” – it is about “oneself”.
If ‘happiness’ is about “oneself” then, it came as no surprise to me when I was questioned of what I meant when I said, “He is my happiness”. I wondered why I was not understood. Tried to explain but was never understood. Hoping that you guys can help me out here and let me know if I make sense.
Firstly, let me explain what I think “Happiness” is for many.
Happiness is …
That time in your life when you:
Laugh for no reason;
Feel contented with your achievements;
Look back at your life and feel proud of how far you have come;
You have overcome the tensions, the trials, the challenges;
You have begun to take pleasure in what life has bestowed on you;
You have wealth, you have possessions, you have credentials;
You are surrounded by people who love you, who adore you;
You can at last take pleasure in the moment that life is good;
In essence, You are in a good place.
For many, this is where they want to be.
But then…is this “happiness” – is this the “happiness” that you have been wanting, needing? Or, do you, within you, have a sense of emptiness and a longing for that “something” special? Despite your smiles, laughter and financial success, do you have a sense of emptiness within you? At most times, this sense of emptiness comes on when you are getting ready for bed – the harsh reality that despite all the family, friends, love, laughter, success and money that surrounds you, the reality is – You are Alone. Alone because you do not have someone to share your passion with, your success with or someone who appreciates you, accepts you and loves you.
We have often heard that “money does not buy you happiness”, right? How often have you seen couples who are happy together even when they do not have “wealth”? There is something special in the way they look at each other, with an ever-ready smile and affection. The respect they have for one another is beyond reproach and they each know what the other feels, thinks. They have friendship. They have a special bond.
So, for me, it is this “special bond” which I want to have – which is the icing on the cake of happiness. What happiness means to me? Well, my happiness is a place where…
I love me,
I love my silliness,
My fairy-tale where everyone is nice,
I love the child in me who never wants to grow up,
I love my imperfect body,
I love the “forever” on a diet attitude of mine 😊,
I love my smile,
I love my ability to laugh for no reason,
I love that I can make others smile and laugh,
I love that we can do this together,
I love that those around me admire me and look up to me,
I love that I am always there in a heartbeat for those who need me.
I love that I can cry and feel emotional,
I love that I do not have the answers for everything,
I love my determination to resolve,
I love that I will gladly pick up my phone even at 2 a.m. in the morning for one who needs me,
I love my inner beauty of giving, warmth and loving,
I love my unexplainable, immature “tantrums” too 😊
I love sunsets because sunrises are too early for me to get up to,
I love my values, my culture, my beliefs
I love my roots
For this is I
And I love Me.
In essence, Happiness is within you – you need to recognise it, appreciate it and live it.
Just so you know, I wasn’t always like this, in this place. I have had the moments, the days, the months and the years where I wasn’t like this…where I had asked the many “why”, where I had gone to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning and waking up at 6! I accepted my life because I could not do different. Maybe I was a little over-sensitive, but I knew it was wrong to feel unhappy, over-exhausted and to carry the “burden” alone even though I always appeared happy, “in control” and seemed to have everything going for me.
I do not blame anyone. It was a process to go through. I think all of us do that – go through a process – and then come out the other end to be as close to who we want to be. Even now I think that I am going through a process.
Why do I say “He is my happiness”?
So, having found me, as I am.
I want to “share” my life with that special someone, He, who is kind of the icing on the cake of happiness. For me, that special someone is one who is there for me, for my needs and demands, my best friend! I think, for me, without a best-friend, I will always find something missing in my life. This is not to say that I will be unhappy – it is just that it makes my journey through life all the more a happier one if I can share my life – just so I can hold hands, walk on the beach, watch the many sunsets or just sit in the front porch together.
So, do I make sense when I say, “He is my happiness”?
What does happiness mean to you?
Would love to hear your thoughts – let me know in the comments box below.